THE GATE (1987)

Mediocre late 80’s supernatural horror that would have benefited from some gratuitous violence/gore and nudity. I saw THE GATE when it first came out and for all these years I’ve thought that the kid opened up the gate to Hell by backmasking a heavy metal album. That would have been awesome! But I was wrong because the pit just fucking opens up when a tree falls down. How lame.

Anyway, so this hole opens up in a family's suburban backyard and nobody really thinks that its strange that this large hole just showed up and keeps reappearing every time you fill it in. Random shit happens: a kid cuts himself near the hole; a retarded dickneck buries a dead dog the hole and BAM! Faster than you can say “Hail Satan!” a bunch of ugly little minions start running around tearing up shit. They looked pretty menacing at first, but outside of the clawing up a door and unorganizing your closet they’re pretty harmless. The one troll from CAT’S EYE was scarier. But I don’t think scary was what THE GATE was going for...hum…now that I think of it I have no idea what the fuck this movie is trying to do, but still somehow even with the low budget and lack of action THE GATE is an alright movie and a enjoyable time waster. You could definitely do worse. I think the reason this film has such a cult following now is because a lot of people saw it when they were kids.

Director Tibor Takacs went on to direct the smash hits SABRINA GOES TO ROME and MANSQUITO.

Part 2

Chicks in the 80's had the best hair...

...well, maybe not all of them.

D.O.A. (1950)

Frank Bigelow (played by the great Edmond O'Brien) is just a regular joe, a mild-mannered accountant who steps out to San Francisco for a few days of fun to get away from his smothering girlfriend. She never gives the guy a break! Once in SF things gets a little campy with the strange wolfish whistling sound every time a foxy dame walks by and the completely whacked out jive club scene (wow!), but then things take a serious turn when somebody slips some luminous poison in Bigelow's drink.

The next morning he feels funny and goes to the hospital. When they tell him he's been poisoned and is gonna die in a few days he freaks out - "This is fantastic! This is the most ridiculous thing! This is impossible! You're nothing but a coupla phonies!" - and goes running down the street like a madman. Once he calms down he gets pissed and goes out in search of his killer.

Not quite as hard-boiled as you would hope but still an awesome movie from beginning to end without a minute wasted.  Highly recommended.

Frank Cady

 According to legend the people on the sidewalk were not aware that a movie was being filmed in this scene where O'Brien goes running down the street like a madman.

Notice the names: Ernest Laszlo (Cinematographer), Marty Moss (Assistant Director) and Russell Rouse (Writer).

WEEKEND WITH THE BABYSITTER (1971)

What an absolute disaster. With a sin-promising title like WEEKEND WITH THE BABYSITTER I was expecting some seductive at first but then hot and sweaty topless/bottomless action. Instead we get something so painfully boring and drawn out that it might be did caused brain my damage permanent.

If I was married to an abusive junkie and I miraculously got a weekend alone with the young freelovin' babysitter I would definitely be doing something besides riding motorcycles and eating cheese omelets, but no not this guy. Jim Carlton is a stuffy wine bag movie producer and when he gets alone with the babysitter she takes him out on the town to see what's really going down. You dig baby? First stop they go to a hippie club where they talk and talk and talk to some oh so cool hippies then they have a prolonged weed smoking scene with the hippies ("Now this here is a joint. J-o-i-n-t. Joint.") then Jim falls asleep. Next day they ride motorcycles all day then *finally* we get to the beast with two backs...I think, it was so slow moving and poorly shot that I couldn't tell what was going on.

And it just goes on and on like this until finally in the exciting (ha!) conclusion Jim and his new hippie friends beat up the drug dealers that have kidnapped his junkie wife!!! Why? Let that bitch die, you got some bangin' to do!

About the only thing this turd has going for it, besides the great title, is a few unintentional laughs and you get to check out some cool early 70's fashions and cars. Skip it.

About as exciting as it gets.