Showing posts with label Kevin Bacon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kevin Bacon. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 15, 2023

FLATLINERS (1990)

Four beautiful people and Oliver Platt decide to explore the mysteries of death (and the possibility of an afterlife) by committing temporary suicide in a construction site.  Things go about as well as you would expect.  That's right, a ghost tells Kevin Bacon that his breath smells like "buffalo farts".

For a late 1980's / early 1990's studio thriller, FLATLINERS is alright.  I guess.  The story is worthless, but the big name cast makes it an interesting cinematic novelty.  There's also a lot of big hair and brown clothing.  Slow pace, dramatic movie lighting overload, lots of wind blowing around (even inside buildings), the world's most useless window shades, lame ending that leaves the viewer completely unsatisfied, a Cure poster, really boring ghosts, really boring story, a few split second glimpses of nudity, really boring characters that don't seem like actual humans just characters in a movie. The ghost of an injured dog. I didn't care for that at all.

If you're looking for a movie that fits the definition of 5/10, then FLATLINERS would be a good choice.  The movie you create in your head when initially hear the brief synopsis "Five medical students try to discover what is beyond death by creating near-death experiences." is way more exciting than what actually happens onscreen.  Honestly, probably 6.66 days after you watch FLATLINERS you won't even remember that you watched it.  Innocent (and loin-meltingly handsome) movie critic accidentally creates a near-coma experience by watching FLATLINERS.  Amirite?

Oh well. Watch it if you want. I don't give a fuck. If you need me, I'll be in a my room watching FINAL DESTINATION 2.

Remake - Flatliners (2017)

Monday, December 6, 2021

FOOTLOOSE (1984)

"When you've burned all of these, what are you gonna do then?"

Twenty-six year-old high school student Kevin Bacon is bummed when his family moves from Chicago to a small town in Utah. He’s even more bummed when he discovers that not only is every other student in his new high school is at least 20 years-old, but the town has outlawed dancing and popular music! What the hell is going on here? Did he accidentally time-travel to 1939 Germany or America in 2050? Nope, he’s still in the 1980's, but these close-minded, pre-Fox News, book-burning, Bible-thumping Fascist wannabes really, really hate Kenny Loggins. So now it’s up to Kevin to add a little bacon to the No Fun Club members diet and show them how to rock! Even if he has to interpretive twerk out the lyrics to “We’re Not Gonna Take It” at a town council meeting!

From a purely filmmaking standpoint, FOOTLOOSE is only slightly above average with an overly simplified story, uneven pacing and wild mood swings. Not to mention being dated as fook nowadays. However, from an entertainment/cultural history standpoint: FOOTLOOSE is a goldmine! Especially if you’re into popular 1980’s American Cinema. Above average acting by a strong cast, a great soundtrack that sold over 9 million copies, lots of dancing, beautiful scenery, awesome 80's fashions, Kevin Bacon struttin’ his hot shit all over the place. FOOTLOOSE is a blast and one that I’ll happily revisit many times before I vogue my way into that great gay bar in the sky. That’s not to say there isn’t any flaws though, because there definitely is. The biggest one is the overall story should have been more upbeat. Also, the relationship between Chuck and Ariel is too dark. People watch FOOTLOOSE wanting to see upbeat dancing, teenagers standing up to oppression and people being happy…not some weak-minded hick assaulting his girlfriend!

One of the many great things about FOOTLOOSE, at least in my handsome brain, is just how ripe it is for expansion and other story ideas. It is literally endless. A few random thoughts I had while re-watching it for this review: (1) the ringleader of the book-burners is angered over Rev. Moore’s rebuke and while the kids are having their dance party he and his gang block the exits at the grain mill and burn it down. Killing all of the kids…which, of course, could lend to an extremely violent and graphic horror ghost-revenge sequel. (2) This has probably been done many times, but it would be a lot of fun to re-edit the audio in the music scenes to feature different music. This could honestly be done thousands of times and always be funny.  Example: in the scene where Bacon is driving into the high school parking lot blasting Quiet Riot's "Metal Health (Bang Your Head)", instead play Tear Da Club Up Thugs "Hell Naw". (3) Borrowing from the mandatory BIM dance scene in THE APPLE, you could go for a completely opposite story where a teen moves into a small town that is controlled by a pro-music cult that forces everybody to dance non-stop.

Overall, FOOTLOOSE is dated, but still a fun film. Definitely worth checking out. If you don't like it, then you're probably a busta.

Double-feature with BLACK ROSES.